The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence defines domestic violence as the willful intimidation, physical assault, battery, sexual assault, and/or other abusive behavior.

• It is part of a systematic pattern of power and control perpetrated by one intimate partner against another.

• Domestic violence may include:

  • physical violence,

  • sexual violence,

  • threats,

  • stalking,

  • controlling behaviors,

  • emotional abuse.

• The frequency and severity of domestic violence can vary dramatically.

Domestic violence is:

• A learned behavior and not caused by genetics.

• A choice the person who harms makes and is not caused by alcohol/drugs.

• Influenced by institutional & societal responses.

• Found in every culture and socioeconomic class.

• Can occur in all types of adult or adolescence relationships: gay, lesbian or heterosexual relationships; dating, cohabitating or married relationships; in current or past relationships.

Handout -Domestic Violence in California Statistics

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Domestic violence is found in every race, religion and socioeconomic class.

• It can happen in all types of relationships, whether dating, committed, same-sex or heterosexual relationships.

• It can happen to teens and elders.

• Children are also impacted by domestic violence in the home.

However, society does not treat all victims equally. It is influenced by institutional and societal biases and stereotypes which can act as barriers to accessing services. Race, sexuality, ability, age, gender, ethnicity, culture, language, and class all impact how the victim is treated and the risk of experiencing violence in their lifetime. At these intersections, violence and barriers can increase.

Intersectional thought began in the late 1970s and early 1980s by black feminists like Bell Hooks and Angela Davis. Kimberlé Williams Crenshaw coined the term intersectionality in 1989. These scholars discussed gender, race, and class, and the important ways in which they overlapped.

Intersectionality is made up of three basic building blocks: social identities, systems of oppression and the ways in which they intersect and interact.

Social Identities: Based on groups or communities a person belongs to – social class, race/ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation. A person is usually a member of many different groups. Social identities are multi-dimensional.

Systems Of Oppression: Refers to larger forces and structures operating in society that create inequalities and reinforce exclusion. Systems of oppression include racism, colonialism, heterosexism, class stratification, gender inequality and ableism.

Intersecting and Interacting: Social Identities and Systems of Oppression do not exist in isolation and intersect. For example, a person can be both black, a woman, and elderly. She may face racism, sexism and ageism.

At Community Beyond Violence, we take an intersectional approach to supporting our clients and community. To learn more, click here.

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California Evidence and Penal Codes – Domestic Violence

California Penal Code §13730 Police officers must write a police report on all domestic violence related calls. The law requires a report on all domestic violence-related calls. This means that in addition to an actual physical assault police must write reports on many other crimes perpetrated against the victim including, but not limited to,

• PC 422 Threats to kill or commit serious bodily harm,

• PC 236 False Imprisonment, which means holding you against your will or keeping you from going where you want to go.

• PC 273.6 Violation of a domestic violence restraining order

• PC 207 Kidnaping

• All Sexual Assaults (These are covered under many codes)

• PC 136 Dissuading a Witness

• PC 594 Vandalism of your property, including community property if you're married

• PC 646.9 Stalking

Tips For Survivors:

• Make sure that the police wrote a report, and that the report is complete.

• Did police talk with you separately from the perpetrator?

• Did they give you time to tell your whole story?

• Ask you about the history of abuse?

• Did the officer take notes?

• Take photos of all injuries and damage?

• Collect all the evidence?

• Talk to all the witnesses (including the children)?

• Provide an adequate translator if necessary?

• Offer to write you an Emergency Protective Order?

• Did the officer tell you what's going to happen next?

• Give you a domestic violence card or booklet with a report number and the officer's name written on the card?

California Family Code §6228Police must give domestic violence victims a free copy of the police report within five days of the victim's request.

The law requires that the police provide domestic violence victims a free copy of the police report within five days of the victim’s request.

Tips For Survivors:

• When you go to the police department to get a copy of the report, you can take a copy of this law (Family Code §6228) or reference it. Even though this law went into effect in the year 2000, many police departments are still not complying. If they show them a copy of the law, they're much more likely to comply.

• When you pick up a copy of the domestic violence police report, read the report to make sure it is accurate and that all statements are included and not just the officer’s summation. Be sure all the pages are there – at the bottom of the report, it will list the number of pages.

• Once you receive the report, read it again and make notes. If anything is missing, contact a CBV advocate during business hours.

• Getting the report can be upsetting. Often the perpetrator will lie to the police, know that the police are required to take the statement verbatim.

California Penal Code §836 (c)(1)Police must arrest the perpetrator on Domestic Violence Restraining Order violations.

The law requires that the police must arrest the perpetrator if he/she violates an existing domestic violence restraining order.

Tips For Survivors:

• Despite the existence of this law, police frequently fail to make arrests on violations of restraining orders, placing victims in great danger that the perpetrator will likely escalate their violations.

• The statement in the law requiring that "police have probable cause" to make the arrest is satisfied completely by a credible statement from the victim.

• Therefore, the officer must make the arrest on the victim’s word alone. No other evidence is needed, and the officer doesn't have to have seen it happen.

• If the perpetrator isn't present, or has fled, when the police come to talk to the victim, the police must make an effort to find the perpetrator.

• Go to the police station and ask a copy of the report.

California Penal Code §868.5

Domestic Violence, Rape, and Child Abuse Victims have a right to two support persons of their choosing present in the courtroom while testifying, one of whom may also be a witness.

The law requires that victims have a right to two support persons of their choosing present in the courtroom while testifying, one of whom may also be a witness.

Tips For Survivors:

• CBV advocates can accompany you to court proceedings.

• Your advocate cannot testify or provide legal advice but can be there for support.

• Court proceedings can be intimidating, and the perpetrator may be in the courtroom as well. So, it is good to have an advocate with you.

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Above information adapted courtesy of Women’s Justice Center, Know Your Rights for Victims of Rape, Domestic Violence, and Child Abuse http://justicewomen.com/help_know_your_rights.html#1

The Cycle of Violence is key to understanding abusive relationships. We provide the Cycle of Violence to all our clients.

Red Flags In Relationships

• The following is a list of common red flag warning signs to help you determine if you could be in an abusive relationship.

• These warning signs are not judgements on the worth of the other person.

• We have advocates available at our office during business hours and on our 24-hour crisis line to talk to about your relationship.

Quick Involvement

• 6 months or less before living together/engaged

• Claims of love at first sight

Unrealistic Expectations

• Very dependent on you for all needs

• Expects you to be the perfect partner, lover

Controlling Behavior

• Tells you how to dress without your opinion

• Becomes extremely worried or angry when you are late

• Constantly questions who you spend your time with, what you did/wore/said & where you went

• Insists that you check in constantly

• Monitors your phone/email

Jealousy

• Wants to be with you constantly

• Accuses you of cheating

• Follows you and/or frequently calls during the day

Isolation

• Puts down everyone you know: says friends are stupid, promiscuous.

• Says your family is too controlling, they don't really love you, or you are too dependent on them

• Refuses to let you use car or talk on the phone

Hypersensitivity

• Easily insulted

• Looks for fights

• Blows things out of proportion

• Disrespectful or cruel to others including pets/children

Blames Others For Problems and Feelings

• If there are any problems, it is always someone else's fault

• You are at fault for everything that goes wrong in the relationship

• Makes you responsible for how they feel: You made me mad; you are hurting me by not doing what I ask; only you can make me happy.

Expects Control During Sex

• Little concern over whether you want sex or not

• May use sulking or anger to manipulate you into compliance

• Makes sexual or degrading jokes about you

Dr. Jekyll & Mr/Ms Hyde

• Sudden mood changes

• One minute nice/next minute exploding

• One minute happy/next minute sad

Breaking or Striking Objects

• Breaks cherished possessions

• May beat on tables with fist

• Throws objects at/around/or near you

Any Physical Force During An Argument

• Physically restrains you from leaving the room

• Pushes. shoves or hits you

Other cues that might indicate an abusive relationship:

• You feel afraid to break up with them.

• You feel tied down and feel like you have to check-in.

• You feel afraid to make decisions or bring up certain subjects so that your partner will not get mad.

• You find yourself crying a lot, being depressed or unhappy.

• You find yourself worrying and obsessing about hot to please your partner and keep them happy.

Media:10 Relationship Red Flags (5 min)

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Above content adapted from: Domestic Violence Counselors 40-hour Training Curriculum: California Partnership To End Domestic Violence, June 2012 and Carling Unlimited, Red Flags To Consider When Beginning A New Relationship PO Box 590, Sanford, ME 04073

Are you concerned that someone you care about is experiencin

g abuse? Maybe you’ve noticed some warning signs, including:

​

• Their partner puts them down in front of other people

• They are constantly worried about making their partner angry

• They make excuses for their partner’s behavior

• Their partner is extremely jealous or possessive

• They have unexplained marks or injuries

• They’ve stopped spending time with friends and family

• They are depressed or anxious, or you notice changes in their personality

Your instinct may be to “save” them from the relationship, but it’s not that easy.

After all, there are many reasons why people stay in abusive relationships, and leaving can be a very dangerous time for a victim. However, there are many ways to support your loved one.

For more information, click here.

We are here for friends and family members too! Click here to learn about our services.

One of the most common questions for posed to victims of domestic violence is "why don't you or didn't you just leave"? The are many overlapping reasons as to why it is difficult for a victim to "just leave". To best support survivors, keep these factors in mind:

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MYTH

Domestic violence only happens to women.

FACT​

While 1 in 3 women experience domestic violence, 1 in 4 men and 1 in 2 transgender people also experience domestic violence. Domestic violence does not discriminate and impacts BIPOC, LBTQIA communities and persons with disibilities at higher rates. Domestic violence occurs in families of all social, racial, educational, and religious backgrounds. And it occurs in towns, suburbs and rural areas.

MYTH

Domestic violence means physical abuse.

FACT​

Physical abuse does not happen in every abusive relationship. Emotional abuse, financial abuse, sexual abuse, isolation, stalking, cyber abuse, threats and intimidation are all forms of domestic violence.

MYTH

Alcohol and drug use causes domestic violence.

FACT​

Alcohol and drugs do not cause abusive behavior. Substance abuse is often used by abusers as an excuse for their behavior, but those who abuse their partners while under the influence are also likely to do so while sober.

MYTH

Stress (such as financial difficulty or problems at work) cause abuse. Once the stressful situation is resolved, the abuse will stop.

FACT​

Domestic violence is not cause by by stress. Some abusers may experience stress, but stress does not cause abusive behaviors. Abusers may use stress as an excuse for their behavior, but even after the stress is reduced the abuse will continue.

MYTH

Domestic violence is a one time incident - just a momentary loss of temper.

FACT​

Domestic violence is a pattern. Generally, once it begins in a relationship it gets worse and more frequent over a period of time.

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